Dating your ex again can be very risky. If you can go through it in an emotionally healthy way, you may be able to repair your relationship and make it stronger than ever.
Focusing on how you’ve grown and what you can both to do become better partners can make your new relationship flourish as you try again. By keeping a level head and communicating clearly, you can start dating your ex again in a healthy, stable way.
Focus on your own life first.
Breakups are tough, and dealing with emotional pain is never easy. Try to work on yourself by eating well, exercising regularly, and working on your own personal goals. If your ex sees you as a more well-rounded person, they’ll probably be more open to dating you—and this could even attract them to you again as they see what they’re missing.
- Approaching your ex when you aren’t doing well might lead to them pitying you, and no one wants that.
Attract your ex by staying aloof.
If you text your ex constantly or send them messages on social media, they might feel overwhelmed. Stay focused on your own life and try to work on your goals until you feel confident enough to reach out again.
- Showing your ex that you’re doing fine without them can make them even more attracted to you.
Reach out when you feel ready.
If it’s only been a few days since your breakup, it’s probably too soon. Try texting or calling your ex when you feel like you can handle a rejection, not when the breakup is still fresh.
- This can be a little tough since there’s no set timeline for when you might feel “ready.” If you just feel lonely or in need of a relationship, you should probably wait a little longer.
- You can start the conversation by saying something like, “Hey, could we meet up? I wanted to talk about maybe dating again, if you’re interested
Express your feelings and the reasons why you want to date again.
Most people treat breakups like the absolute end of a relationship, so your ex probably isn’t expecting this. Sit down with your ex and try to list the reasons why you think your relationship could work this time, and be prepared to answer any questions they might have.
- You could try saying, “I know our relationship was rocky in the past. I’ve really been working on fixing my bad habits, and I think we could really make it work this time.”
- Your ex may also say no or be hesitant about trying your relationship again, which is valid. Listen to their concerns and try to work it out together.
Talk about relationships you had while you were apart.
If you dated someone after you two split up, let your ex know. If they dated someone for a while too, ask about it. You don’t have to get into specifics, but you should both know about any other relationships that happened when you weren’t together.
- It can be tough to hear about what your ex did when you weren’t together, but it’s better to find out now than be blindsided later on.
- If your ex is upset that you dated someone else, try to address their fears or concerns before jumping into your relationship to avoid problems down the road.
Agree to work on your old problems.
When you’ve already been together, you both know about the issues that could arise in the future. As you two talk about your new relationship, be sure to address the problems that happened in the past and what you can both do to avoid them in the future. Try to stay away from the blame game, and instead focus on actionable steps that you can both take.
- For example, if you fought a lot about money, agree to be more open with your finances to avoid any surprises.
- Or, if you weren’t on the same page about marriage, talk about your life plans and where you see yourself in 5 years.
- Or, if either of you had trust issues, talk about being honest with each other no matter what.
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